Collateral Damage

The life of a first responder brings profound purpose and fulfillment. Each day we report for duty, we face unique and challenging calls that demand skill, resilience, and compassion, there is rarely a “boring day” when you’re on the job. Clocking in is a privilege, one that allows us to serve our communities by standing ready to support and help others during the most difficult moments of their lives.

For first responders, our careers provide a deep sense of purpose and honor. However, there is something fundamentally different about this profession compared to any other. One of its greatest impacts is that our families experience the career alongside us, the good and the bad. In many ways, this shared experience is a positive one. It is rare to hear a family member of a first responder say they are not proud; more often, the opposite is true. Pride in being part of a first responder family is the norm.

There are unique bonds and privileges that come with this life. Each first responder family becomes part of a larger family beyond their own. Because of the daily dangers first responders face, a connection forms among families and within the profession that is rarely found elsewhere. Families bond through shared experiences and the common emotions that come with loving someone who places themselves in harm’s way each day. Husbands and wives live with both pride and worry every time their loved one leaves for duty. Our children, shaped by these experiences, often view us as heroes. Our families are proud of what we do, and through them, this profession becomes deeply respected and profoundly meaningful.

What many people do not realize is that for first responders, the job, and the trauma that comes with it, often follows us home. Witnessing horrific events, watching people die, and confronting evil in this world take a profound toll. When left unaddressed, these experiences can deeply affect who we are. When compounded by sleep deprivation and ongoing internal and external stressors, the strain can alter our moods and behaviors, turning us into someone we never intended to be at home.

If we are not intentional, our home lives and family relationships can suffer. We may grow distant, struggle with depression, and, at times, become emotionally detached from the ones we love most. When we fail to care for ourselves, our families may encounter an uglier side; one we work hard to keep in check. Without proper mental health support, physical fitness, adequate rest, and a strong spiritual foundation, families can quickly shift from being proud first responder families to ones that are broken and confused.

“Our families share in the highs of what the world sees us do, but they also bear the weight of the lows the world never sees.”

At the core of our issues is a foundation that, if not rooted in Christ, is unstable at best. God through His word warns us of what can happen when our foundation is not rooted in Him.

Jesus tells us ²⁴ “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. ²⁶ And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. ²⁷ And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (Matthew 7:24-27)

In this chapter of Matthew, we are reminded that every house, whether built on sand or on rock, will face storms. God’s Word consistently reminds us that the storms of life will come to us all. If the foundation upon which our lives are built is anything other than Christ, we are at risk of falling apart. A spiritual life that is not firmly rooted in Christ cannot stand, and it becomes only a matter of time before our lives, and our homes, begin to crumble.

As first responders, we cannot control the calls we respond to, nor can we predict how each experience will affect us mentally or physically. We and our families may spend years experiencing pride, excitement, and fulfillment, leading us to believe that the life of a first responder will always be rewarding. However, the difficult truth is that it will not. Over time, the cumulative weight of our experiences, and the demands we place on ourselves, inevitably catches up to us.

Having Christ as our firm foundation is essential (Ephesians 3:14-21). He is our source of hope and strength, sustaining us day in and day out as we face the mental and physical demands of the job. When we trust God and obey His commands, serving others selflessly, remaining rooted in His Word, and committing to daily prayer in right relationship with Him, we can stand firm and remain prepared when challenges arise.

However, if our foundation is not rooted in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, if we enter this career believing we can remain unscathed while protecting the world and our families from every form of evil, including our own, we should not be surprised when one day we wake up to find our family in distress. When we fail to keep our eyes fixed on Christ and remain close in relationship with Him, we place ourselves in danger of harming the very people we love most, the ones we work so hard to provide for and protect.

Without Christ, the hidden danger of this profession is that our families may become collateral damage. However, when our lives are built on the solid foundation of Christ, no storm, no matter how fierce, can destroy us. By God’s grace, He will sustain us through every trial. (Psalm 55:22)

How do we as first responders prevent our families from becoming Collateral Damage?

• Stay rooted in Christ so you are spiritually healthy for yourself and your family:

  • “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” (Colossians 2:6-7).

• Stand firm in your faith for yourself and for your family:

  • “. . . casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” (1 Peter 5:7-9)

• Love your spouse and your kids, as well as Jesus loves you:

  • “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is no arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

• Provide for your family because they are a gift from God to you:

  • “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8)

  • “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:4-5)